The Bullock Cart and the Indian Economy – A Cautionary Tale
Once upon a time there was a bullock cart full of passengers. The passengers had paid the cart driver's firm to get them to their destination, but the slow pace was taking ages. They would nag the driver off and on and even threaten to replace him. The old driver Nehru died and after a short interval his daughter Indira replaced him.
"I'll make you go faster," she said and whipped the bullocks severely.
Also, to lighten the load, she didn't allow the passengers to eat properly. There was a short spurt of speed but the cart inevitably slowed down even more, and the passengers were now even more unhappy.
By a tragic accident this driver died suddenly and her son Rajiv took over the cart. He took steps to make his passengers happy: he painted the cart in bright colours. Other vehicles on the road were all the time overtaking this bullock cart, which was still creaking along at a slow pace. The passengers could see the bright chromium rear bumpers of the American, European, Japanese, Korean and Singaporean cars racing ahead in the distance.
The bullock cart still trundled along at a slow speed.
There was some pushing and shoving and some of the passengers tried to drive but the bullocks were exhausted and the wheels were worn. The cart zigged and zagged and some passengers even threw up. But progress was still painfully slow.
A driver, PV, belonging to the old carting company, took over. He realized that things couldn't carry on like this. He told his mechanic Manmohan to take some steps. Manmohan took out the old wooden wheels and put in alloy wheels. He also put ball bearings in the wheels. There was a noticeable improvement but – it was still a bullock cart. If you looked hard enough you could still see the sun winking on the chrome on the rear bumpers of the cars racing ahead.
The passengers were pretty fed up by now and tried a new team. The new team leader Atal kept his eyes closed most of the time, but did put some competent guys in charge: Jaswant, Yashwant and Shourie. These guys simply got rid of the bullock cart and loaded the passengers on to a motor car instead. They gave the wheel to a private driver and told him to do whatever he liked, as long as he got cracking. The driver smartly snapped the car into gear and zoomed off. The drivers of the vehicles ahead peeked into their rear-view mirrors and remarked, "These Indians are going to give us competition".
But the passengers missed the old team out of nostalgia and brought them back, kicking out the previous lot. It was so comforting to have the Old Firm back.
The team leader of the Old Firm was now Sonia, but she didn't have a valid driver's license. So she told the old mechanic Manmohan to sit at the wheel and pretend to drive, while she gave the instructions. The private driver was shown who was boss and told to be the cleaner of the vehicle or get off. The new team started fiddling with the controls. The speed slowed down a bit but nobody noticed; the car was running along on its old momentum.
The Atal firm too had a change in leadership. First LK, the new leader, chucked out the trio of Jaswant, Yashwant and Shourie. Then he offered himself for the post of driver.
"I know all about handling bullocks and carts. I also know all about temples," he said.
The passengers were not interested and let the Sonia firm handle the car. The speed was now noticeably slow. And then the passengers discovered that this lot had been slyly fiddling the fuel and maintenance bills. They were indignant.
A whole gaggle of would-be drivers now joined in the fun: pushing this lever, pulling that knob and flicking every which switch. The car started making protesting noises. PC hauled on a lever marked Handbrake and hoped the car would go faster. It didn't. Rahul punched a button marked Horn and thought the car's speed would pick up. There was some noise but the speed kept getting slower.
"Try and look at the rocks and trees on the roadside, and see how fast we are going, as compared to them", suggested Kapil, in a mocking tone, to the discontented passengers.
Then Kapil saw a small lever inside a glass case marked Do Not Break Glass. Do Not Touch Lever. Emergency Only..
Kapil smashed the glass and pulled the lever. And the bonnet flew open and the engine popped out and crashed to the earth, lying in ruins on its side in the dirt.
"Not to worry!" said Sonia to her mechanic cheerfully, "We've still got the bullocks, right? Go get them and hitch 'em up to this car!"
